Turning Adversity into Joy

Carol was not happy. She launched her use of the Cycle Tool (about to "spiral up") the perfect way: by complaining.

The brain doesn't unlock those extreme resilience pathways without a strong belt of protest by the EBT user. The ticket of admission to those magical circuits is a willingness to articulate our gripe.

Admitting how bad it seems – and protesting it!

She began, "The situation is...I was so happy that I finally could retire, and the week after my last day teaching, my husband had a heart attack, and I got diagnosed with breast cancer. I feel paralyzed emotionally and feel like crawling under a rock and giving up. I have no hope."

Now was the time for the power of the pause, for Carol to relinquish cognitive control and let her unconscious mind process those thoughts, and as the ultimate "threat detector," inform her of what bothers her the most.

She paused for what seemed like forever. It was actually about 10 seconds.

Then Carol said, "What I'm most stressed about is...I have no hope."

Embrace whatever bothers you the most.

She asked, "Laurel, how can I cycle about not having hope?"

I responded, "Trust your brain. Listen to your body, which is where your emotional brain expresses itself. If that is truly what is causing your emotional paralysis, then that is the right topic."

With that in mind, she said, "My topic is: I have no hope."

I said, "Apply the anger procedure...you know the drill!"

She said, "I feel angry that...I have no hope. I can't stand it that...I have no hope. I HATE it that...I have no hope...I HATE it, I HATE it, I really, really HATE it."

After that very structured procedure, she could vary the anger expression as her brain was now primed to focus on the topic. This would minimize the unleashing of a broader range of circuits, thereby aborting the chance to identify the offending circuit and rewire it.

Let loose with red-hot anger that turns to sweet sadness.

Next, she accomplished the requisite "letting go of control" needed to turn the anger into healing, loving, sweet sadness.

"I hate it that I am sick. I'm furious that my husband is sick. I hate it that just when I was finally going to get my reward, life dumps on me. I HATE that!!!"

She was quiet. The circuit was unlocked and its suppressed emotions started flowing. Perfect!

The brain tells her why she has lost hope.

Carol continued..."My one deepest sadness is...I have no energy and I am not happy."

She felt it until it faded, another 10 seconds.

"My one deepest fear is...if I don't resolve this topic...I have no hope...my husband will feel unloved and he won't get the care he needs. My god, he could even die! I won't take care of my own health problems, and I never will enjoy my retirement!"

She executed the procedure perfectly. Now to discover the wire...

"I do have power here. I feel guilty. Why don't I just...be hopeful."

I jumped in and said, "Of course you do not just be hopeful, because your unreasonable expectation is..."

Her eyes were wide, "I would be full of energy and fully enjoy my retirement."

Now she can rewire and feel hope!

Carol made the unconscious expectation that was blocking her hope conscious, and now she can quickly juxtapose contradictory information to update that wire. As she had used Precision EBT, which is designed to discover the "5 Circuits" encoded in trauma, she could get immediate relief from her negative mood and feel secure that she had changed that wire.

This was a Core Circuit; she used the Feel Better Tool (one of the 4 Tools).

She said, "I may not be full of energy, and I may not fully enjoy my retirement."

Carol finished the grind-in process with gusto and then added her plans for moving forward.

Taking action for a higher purpose: the deeper joy of life.

She was close to being Brain State 1 and full of hope and energy.

Carol continued, "I expect myself to do the best I can to use the energy I have and enjoy my retirement as much as I can!"

Her essential pain was I am not in complete control, and her earned reward was Vibrancy, feeling whole and being genuine.

She was now at a sparkling One.

I asked, "What just happened?"

Carol said, "I was depressed and on my way to going numb, and now I am alive with joy and energy."

Turning adversity into joy

Carol had also evolved emotionally and spiritually. By training her brain to accept the reality of life that we are not in complete control, the circuit of resilience became dominant, and she was on her way to joy.

Her adversity dislodged her from the modern life mode of believing that we must be in complete control and avoid all pain. By leaning into her misery, "owning it," and then dismantling it, she strengthened her resilience and felt better on the spot.

The lesson learned: Our genes give us immense powers that show up only when the going gets rough, and we trust our body, ourselves, and the tools. When we spiral up, we can create joy regardless of circumstance.

I asked Carol, "What is the most important thing you learned today?"

She said, "I can turn adversity into joy."